Monday Feb 4th 2013

7 16 a.m

Woke up holding on like a koala bear. Not a bad nights’ sleep, these days its miraculous if I get a full night, things on my mind an’ all but it was much better. Tired just now but have a feeling I’ll wake up soon and today will be a productive day. Feels like there’s nothing much in my head this morning. Can’t be true. The shower is running. My eyes feel like they have a glaze over them but it might just be my glasses needing a clean. That’s most likely. Quite hungry as always in the morning. I love Rocky III. So many classic moments. Loved watching it last night. I’m like a screaming baby really, if you dangle my favourite toy in front of me I’ll stop crying and stare at it in wonderment for ages. Rocky III is like my favourite toy. For the purpose of this analogy I mean, not sure it’s my favourite film ever but man, I love it. That doesn’t make me sound very clever now, does it? I don’t think I am very clever, ultimately I suppose that’s okay and it’s not really anything to worry about massively. Project Workers. Wonder what that means? I’ll check it out! The radio just got louder. Weird. Fore pompous piece. Music should be bright and promising, apparently. What does that even mean apart from the very obvious? God my hand already hurts and I haven’t even written half a page?!!! I was hoping my hand would get stronger over the course of time. I don’t use my left hand as much as I would think I would being left handed. There is lots of stuff that’s dominated by my right, like my right shoulder feels stronger than my left, which I think is strange but I suppose there are no rules. Scared. Of what I don’t know. Just life in general, I think. Getting out there. That will bring me a certain amount of fulfilment too, I know that for definite, but for whatever reason it currently feels like quite a scary prospect. Where is Potters Bar? North London I think. Wish I could remember my dreams from last night. Annoying! I guess it’s a good thing though, right? If you can’t remember? It means you haven’t woken up in the middle of a cycle or something, right? I’m not sure. I hate not being able to sleep a full night. Feels like I can’t operate at full capacity and am semi asleep the whole time. Can’t be good. But porridge and Nutella and tea will sort all that out. As always.

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