Weds April 3rd 2013

7.42 a.m.

God it’s tough waking up at the moment! Presumably down to the clocks going forward, but man, sleepy sleepy sleepy! The way the light comes through the window in the morning too – makes me feel  like I’m on holiday and entitled to a massive lie – in! Must get a workout in before going to audition today, must must must. Very do – able, work out at 10, hour to get ready, out of the house at 12. Done. Hopefully my agent has given me the right details and stuff, I’m all paranoid that they’ve given me the wrong information after hearing the horror stories of others. Bloody photographer. Seriously. I suppose I should just chill, it’s been a holiday for most people, not worth worrying about just now. Feel fat this morning. My own fault for stuffing myself massively yesterday. In the grand scheme of things it’s not important though, is it? Just need to stay fit and healthy, it’s all good. Dreamt that one of my uncles died and it was awful. I was sobbing – it was weird – my sister came into the room, gave my brother some kind of present and walked out and my brother told me what was going on and I burst, instantaneously, into sobs, and then he did too. Prior to that I was standing in the doorway of a house with an ex – housemate of mine, she was smoking a chocolate form of cigar, or something. She gave me one which I finished within a few minutes and it kept on burning my fingers. Anything else. I definitely had other dreams but am struggling to remember. I set my alarm for 6am – oh – had a dream I was in Café Nero and needed to  pee, asked where the toilet was, the girl said they didn’t have one which, for some reason, made me laugh. The Maritime Museum was so cool yesterday! I didn’t think I’d get so much out of it – but it really got me into the exploration space and I found myself imagining the sea air, that sense of excitement, anticipation, freedom, and there’s loads of fascinating mythology and superstition surrounding the seas which is both fascinating and unsettling. Genuinely enjoyed being taken on a journey around a subject which I haven’t paid enough attention to before; at points, I could almost smell the sea air! Really very enjoyable. Anatomy of a Murder. What a watch! Really very good. Bugger, dinner on the 5th. Should go, but really can’t be bothered. Don’t know why, it’s really no trouble, just can’t be arsed with the journey back, I think. Really hope it warms up too, would massively take the edge off. Full full full. Full of thoughts and feelings. Let go, let go, let go, let go. That’s all I need to do, really. Wonder what this audition will be like today. I’m sure it’ll be fun. Everything turns out to be fun, in the end. Breakfast is always fun too. Yeah!

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