Mon April 15th 2013

7.00 a.m.

Determined to do lots today. There’s the usual stuff – writing, studying, working out, but I’ve got the bit between my teeth about spring cleaning the flat, which I am going to continue to do as it felt good to tidy and clean the place up yesterday. Also a nice team activity which made sitting down to watch the golf even more enjoyable! Really found it enjoyable kicking back. Wish  I wasn’t so superficial and wasn’t slightly obsessing about the shocking level of weight gain I had to accept when I stepped onto the scales last night – honestly didn’t think I’d put on THAT much! Hopefully some of that is muscle – but I’m going to embark on a serious fat shredding bonanza once I’ve finished my current strength / power based programme. Only 3 days left of it – thought it was a bit more, but 3 days! I have a funny feeling in my stomach this morning, perhaps it is simply hormones. WHERE has this month gone? Quite uncomfortable, anyway, uncomfortable sensation – as though my inwards are eating themselves. Hmm. Hungry, maybe. Haha. Must continue working on not taking things personally. Imagine the benefits of being able to swim through life, taking things on the chin, not worrying so much all the time, not taking it all so damn seriously. So great. Definitely going to make a trip into London to catch up with my best friend, haven’t seen her in ages, I miss her! Also dying to see Ernie. Also Dusty, coffee with him would be cool too. I might flesh out this short film idea today too, see if there’s anything in it. Maybe. Maybe not. Worth working through, anyway. So now I have a V3, a V2 and a first draft to do. The volume keeps getting higher, at the early stages of writing I guess that’s a good idea, not going to produce works of genius at this stage, so getting ideas out there and going through the process of fleshing them out is both good discipline, and beneficial in the long term for developing the skill itself and will yield positive benefits in the form of a clearer “voice” on the page. Let’s see. Also tempted to give a more sci – fi type thing a go, have an idea, but it would have to be very “me” and I suppose the idea isn’t quite cemented enough yet, but I’ll give it a bit of time to find some kind of shape, let it form organically, and see where it goes with a bit of time to ferment.

Had a strange experience last night. Woke up with a start, absolutely CONVINCED that there was a spider spinning a web right next to my face. I actually jumped up, completely freaked out. Haha. Seems quite pathetic now, but really, I totally believed it! Poor Billy woke up too, and I was so freaked out I wasn’t very nice to him either! What’s that about? Spiders are just spiders! I don’t understand it. I can’t remember anything else from my dreams. Frustrating. My energy levels are going through a bit of a lull at the moment, so I suppose I need to somehow recharge the batteries, find my motivation and start focussing in the way that I have been. Definitely want to keep on logging dreams, as I’ve found it really useful in coming to consider certain things – possibilities, themes of what I might be dealing with one level below the conscious. It’s cool. Might not mean anything, but I like to think it does. Must make that a focus again.

Right, on with the day. Porridge, tea, and a whole heap of ENERGY! Yesterday was a sad day indeed, botched up the porridge making – far too much water, and wound up having to drain it and added Weetabix to break up the sad looking oats. Never again. Tragedy.

 

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