Tues April 16th 2013

7.11 a.m.

Slept very well. Had lots of dreams that I have retained fragments of. One dream was a girly trip away – my best friend was there, we were sharing a room, but everyone else was an acquaintance of hers rather than of mine but everyone was nice. It was strange, I have a memory of going to a table, where we all had to give our names, and were allocated rooms for our wedding rehearsals – many of the girls were disappointed by theirs but mine was the smallest of all as I didn’t give any details whatsoever about what I was planning so I got a room with nothing in it for my rehearsal! Ha! I also remember having breakfast, and one of the girls saying that she couldn’t believe that they were suggesting that she get married there! The hotel room itself was more like an apartment – I remember walking around it and getting lost. Shocker. There was a point where we couldn’t decide what to have for dinner so we decided to eat at this place where one of the girls’ was trying to get me to taste the curry she was having but for some reason I didn’t want to. Can’t really fathom why I was at this particular gathering, but I wasn’t having a bad time, from what I remember – just a bit bizarre for some reason. Also remember a dance class – lots of older people, and partnering up with an elderly chap to perform a swing dance which we did pretty well and we were both really happy! There was a woman, dressed in a tunic, white trousers with a patchwork top over the tunic running a spinning class in the hall, spinning cloth. I asked her if she was going to make anything – she said no, and started to pack her spinning wheel away. Another fragment is of being with Billy. The phone rings, it’s a friend of mine from drama school asking to speak with him – he has this conversation about how if he ever has kids he’s just going to tell them the truth straight away because that’s the sensible thing to do, he’s learnt that. I’m sure there is plenty more to remember but that’s what I have in my head for now. Interesting. Nothing particularly exciting in there, I wonder what I’m processing to have had these dreams. Messages about commitment, how if you don’t ask you don’t get, be more open to new people, the lady with a spinning wheel is an interesting, mythical image – did she say she wasn’t making anything because I’m in charge of spinning the cloth of my own destiny and can’t expect or hope for anyone else to do it for me? Billy talking about telling the truth and passing on a lesson of honesty to his children; positive message there, if I’m to take it literally. Who knows. Certainly getting me thinking, anyway. I’ll never know whether I’m right, but the thoughts and ideas being opened up have to be beneficial in one way or another.

I love the sound of birds singing. I hear them every morning, and last night, as we sat reading our books, the birds sang in the background which was really, I don’t know, it sounded wonderful. It’s a bit of a grey morning, but it looks pretty outside. Yesterday was a really good day, got loads done and even ate loads of salad – in itself a very positive progression! I heard something on this radio that didn’t sound very pleasant – some kind of terrorist activity or something in Boston – the volume was too low to really make it out, but I’m worried about what’s happened.

Nothing particularly interesting in my head this morning. To be fair, there isn’t much of interest generally, but I feel remarkably clear headed today. Sleeping seems to have done it’s job – as my mind feels nice and clear and ready for the day ahead, no crazy thoughts circling around! Hopefully this is the pattern of the present and future and things will continue in the same vein!

Time for tea. Porridge. And yeah, Nutella. Woo hoo!


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