Sat April 20th 2013

7.15 a.m.

Woke up in the middle of the night to hear the Mycroft song.  Made me a bit sad, but I know things are looking up when it doesn’t feel like a stab to the stomach. Can’t even remember falling asleep last night – I just dropped off. Still. I feel good this morning, it’s nice to wake up with some energy and not being super groggy. I’m sure by the end of this I’ll be doing just that though, complaining that I’m super groggy!

I have a memory of some kind of dream in my head – I was on my way to somewhere to meet Steve and Kath – when I got on one platform, it was all cornered off – so I ran downstairs to the underground and on the way, a little girl fell over at the bottom of the escalator and I picked her up and tried to make her feel better. Her Mum then showed up and shouted at me. ‘Cause  I need…Your love.. So bad..That song just came into my head. Anyway, Steve had this device that made everything look 3-D, so he gave it to me, showed me how to use it, and I found that it made me dizzy and didn’t quite work properly and I was scared that it was because I was too stupid to know “how” to look! Then I got a message from Kath – I was expecting a message from Van, but then I remembered that he was away, so when I finally looked at my phone, there were loads of messages, including one from Kath with a crazy plan to meet and eat burgers all day. I wasn’t keen, even in the dream, to eat burgers all day! Then, I don’t know if this was the same dream, there was some kind of gathering. All the guys downstairs went upstairs – the guys were being really insolent and it made me uncomfortable. It was an unfamiliar environment for me, from what I remember, it wasn’t just “normal” that things were happening within the context of the dream. A couple broke up over the course of the evening – I can’t quite remember the details, though.

Really picking at my thumbs at the moment. So much so that they really hurt when I’m cooking! Have to start paying attention and noticing when I do it, what triggers it, become aware and move towards kicking the habit – hopefully not replacing it with another rubbish one!

Oh God, I’ve just drifted off and started picking at my thumb! Eeeks. This week went quickly. Struggled to really focus in the manner I have been over the last couple of days; going to blame hormones – today I feel much better and intend to make up for the last couple of days. New photos are interesting. Now that I’m over the shock and have had a few opinions and am reassured that they do actually look like me, I’m quite pleased with them. Certainly a vast improvement on the ones that I had done last year – I guess practice will make perfect, and over the years I’ll get better at this kind of thing. It’s pretty horrendous, the whole headshot thing. Who really has any idea of who they ACTUALLY are, anyway?! Oh well.

7.30. Suppose I’d best get up and get breakfast! Wonder what we’ll end up doing today. It’s a beautiful day outside, perhaps a walk? Aw, the sound of the birds this morning. Love it!

Right. Breakfast. Yeah!

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