Fri April 26th 2013

8 a.m.

Overslept! Vague recollection of my alarm going off but I don’t really remember the event properly – nice to have a lie – in. The last memory of a dream I have involved Christopher Lee – he was talking about someone, moaning about them at first, about how they weren’t prepared to help him now, but at the beginning, they were prepared to help him and were brilliant at the systematic stuff, fun to be around but My God were they cerebral. Lord knows who he was talking about. I know he wasn’t talking about me, I’m not brilliant or overly cerebral. At least, I don’t think I am, anyway. I certainly used to be very cerebral, but never to excess. I don’t think. I have a memory of him on the front step outside the old house – picking up a load of letters in big envelopes. I think they were contracts of some sort – loose and on a bean bag. Prior to seeing that I was in the front room watching something. I don’t know what, and we were talking about contracts and stuff. Who “we” is I don’t really know, but I think it might have had something to do with Billy’s Mum.

I also remember walking through a market; busy and full of interesting, alternative merchandise. I saw one stall selling bags, one of which I had been given for a gift recently, but I recall stopping at a CD stall, Terrence McKenna type stuff, and the guy saying I could have 4 CD’s for a tenner which was amazing and was an overall pleasant interaction. I think I bought something from another stall too, but can’t remember. Can I remember anything else? I know there’s more, but I can’t remember the details.

So, I’m feeling a bit out of sorts about the whole career thing at the moment. Yesterday some old behaviours relating to others , old and possibly more important issues were triggered by something but I don’t really know what I’m up to at the moment, at all. I’m sure that like all things it’ll take time, I just need to persist, but I’m hopelessly lost and need some direction because I don’t feel that I know what I’m doing. Perhaps I’ll go to one of those career counselling sessions type things or a casting workshop or two just so I get reconnected.

Anyway, starving, lost half an hour of work time – urgh! Time for tea and porridge and stuff. Yeah!

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