Mon April 29th 2013

7.14 a.m.

Wow. I slept like a baby! Can’t remember any of my dreams – must have woken up at the right time although my head does feel a bit on the muggy side this morning. Did open my eyes thinking it was a Saturday at one point – the great thing about my current situation is that I’m not hit by the Sunday night blues any more, which is really cool, actually. They are truly awful.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. Ate well, enjoyed the movies – just feel that I could have exercised a bit more self – control but oh well, you live, you learn. I’m so hungry this morning! It’s actually quite a nice feeling – I know that my enjoyment levels with Porridge will be particularly great this morning! Hmm. What’s actually in my brain this morning? I’m not entirely sure. Thoughts of the day – writing. Sunshine is wonderful, looks like it’s going to be a lovely day! Maybe I’ll go and do some writing in the park.  I’m taking it easy today, so my workout will be more like deep muscle work than crazy cardio. Wow, I’m struggling to hold the pen this morning; my handwriting is looking very loose indeed. Makes me think of the time I thought I’d worked out the secret of life and all things and scribbled it all down as cavemen danced on the ceiling and knights jousted but when I looked back on it, it turned out that my scribbles were completely illegible. Helpful. Sometimes reassurance comes from the strangest places – clicked into this report this morning (free, of course) to see what it was all about, and, amazingly, everything it said seemed relevant. This year will be a year of introspection, healing and meditation. All the work you’re putting into your health, career, well – being, will pay off before the year is through. Got me thinking. Is everyone just searching for the same thing? Does that report apply to everyone? I’m guessing that report is generic to everyone. Are we really just all on the same? No. Hang on, can’t remember quite what I was thinking about then – but the gist, I think, was me wondering about what it is that we might be looking for out of life so intensely, or passively, as the case may be. Shocker! The description of 2012 was also really on the money; creepy, because a) maybe there is something to this whole phenomenon in a cosmic sense, b) I am ridiculously susceptible to such stuff at the moment because I am, in fact, so desperate for reassurance and c) are we all the same and can a generic report really satisfy each and every one of us because we’re all looking out for the same messages? Who knows? My instinct says nah, but who can really say? Not me.

Ah, a fragment of my dream has just come to me. A friend of ours, who now lives in New York, had written to myself & Billy, saying that she wanted to be the Godmother of any children that we might have. Sweet. Also a bit weird. Ha. I think I was trying to get some time with Billy in the dream to try and tell him but for some reason it was really difficult to get any time with him alone. Then, I have a memory of some kind of coffee shop, thought it felt like a coffee shop in a shopping centre – without doors, like you get at airports and stuff. I think I was with a girl from drama school but I can’t really remember, and she bought coffee and got a bit pissy about paying. Ha! When I picked up the tea, it all spilled out, for some reason. No one could find the plastic cups for their drinks; I went to the back of the machine and got one and everyone else promptly formed a queue and followed. Everyone wanted the same thing. Fundamentally I don’t believe that. We’re all too different. Right? Interesting. Yawn yawn yawn. My best friend just popped into my head and how nice it’ll be to see her when she gets back. Was thinking that as I wrote, so I was processing two things at once which is cool but now seems slightly creepy / trippy, somehow. Images from Oblivion just popped into my head too. I liked the spaceship.

Anyway, time for breakfast and wake up time. Have twinged my back, must take care  I don’t make it worse by being silly.

Breakfast. Yeah!

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