Sat Jun 8th 2013

8.22 a.m.

Need to get up and send a workout plan out for the day. Have “Love Reaction” by Lovelock in my brain this morning. Woke up naturally and to no alarm, so I don’t have any dreams in my mind at the moment, although I’m sure they will come back to me in time. Let’s see what happens. Watched Dune last night and as always, absolutely loved it! The story is one of my absolute favourites. It’s the ultimate tale of self – actualisation, isn’t it? The ultimate Hero myth. Appeals to me massively. The transfer of it was of such high quality too, there were extra details available to the eye which weren’t visible before – carvings in door archways, patterns, or tiny details on costumes. Really got a picture of how much work went into the production design – seems a shame that it isn’t universally acknowledged as a masterpiece! Ultimate proof of how subjective opinion actually is.

A fragment of my dream has come to me. I was at my best friends’ place, and couldn’t decide what I wanted to wear. Kept changing from a white loose tunic top, to something else, though I can’t quite remember what that something else was. I also looked into the mirror and was horrified by what I saw, can’t remember what it was though. We were chatting, anyway, but I don’t remember much else. Mum also featured in my dream, somewhere. Recently she’s been cropping up in my dreams a lot; she has been appearing as younger, freer, glamorous. I wonder whether that is my true view of how she would have been, had she been able to express her true self. I tend to tear up every time the subject of a mother, or maternal love comes up – I wonder if that has a connection to my feelings about Mum and how I wish she’d had a better time. I imagine how much potential she has, to have come through all so much hardship with such strength – imagine how she would be if she didn’t have to muster up all of her resources to simply survive.

Finding sense memory work tough at the moment – a sure fire sign that I absolutely need to continue to keep practicing and building it up! As with all things, the prospect of sustained, hard work to get that skill developed doesn’t phase me, so it’s all good. Just an observation. I also notice a great deal of tension in my shoulders and calves when I do basic relaxation work, so there is definitely work that I need to continue to do in that area. It feels good to get through a list of stuff that is specific to each of my goals every day. Good blend of left & right brain working, I think. I’m enjoying learning how to develop a more positive approach to myself, and working to improve my view of myself and programming goals. The act of having concrete goals is very satisfying. Feels good.

Now, time to get on with getting this session plan together!

Then.. Breakfast! Oh yes.



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