Mon Jun 24th 2013

6.28 a.m.

Suffered rather severely from Little Person / Big Person syndrome this morning; that being when you have resolved to do something but when it comes to it, the Little Person inside you talks you out of actually doing it, or tries to. Then, the Big Person fights back and a strange dialogue takes place where you are effectively talking yourself into, or out of, doing something. I’m pleased to report that today, I talked myself INTO getting up early to get a workout done. Although at the initial stages it feels a bit tough to get going, the satisfaction of knowing that it’s done, first thing, and the fact that the whole day is imbued with that excellent endorphin fuelled feeling of personal pride at a job well done is a compelling driver. Not bad at all.

I’m really so hungry this morning. That’s the other, very important thing about an early morning workout that I really like – the feeling of breakfast afterwards. Unbeatable. Makes it totally worth the Big Person winning out over Little Person, if the endorphin and sense of general well- being isn’t convincing enough.

Very proud of myself with regards to recent dietary change. Sugar really was the missing piece of the puzzle for me, I think. Although it seemed, for a long time, like a massive psychological challenge to give it up in tea, I’ve found that the psychological sense of well – being that I now have within, knowing that I am not overloading my system with the bad white stuff totally outweighs the momentary, and somewhat guilt infused pleasure of the rush that one gets from the consumption of sugar. Equally, I’m excited because I suspect that my sensitivity to sweetness will be heightened, so when I do have something sweet, I will enjoy it and be satisfied rather than being utterly desensitised due to my general over – consumption.. All in all, it’s a really positive development and I’m pleased that I am still progressing on my journey towards self – improvement, internal and external.

Today, my key points of focus are cutting down the script (so close to getting it submitted now!), some seriously engaged effort on the PT stuff, and a look at production techniques for film. I am learning to be kinder to myself, which can only be a good thing, giving myself a break every so often, not being so obsessed with filling every moment with something apparently super – productive. Saturday was such an amazingly creative day; got so much done, and it was all in an entirely relaxed way and I enjoyed every minute – so that is clearly the way forward. The name of the game is to enjoy how every moment of life is spent, right? Learning a new approach to living is really cool – especially one that yields feelings of real connection with the self, relaxation, and the completion of stuff that provides that elusive sense of true self – enrichment that I’ve been craving for such a long time.

Although I am slightly groggy this morning, my brain feels clear. No murky thoughts or psychological confusion or mad neuroses,. No sense of guilt, or sadness – I’ve simply woken with a sense of purpose and excitement about the day ahead. It’s cool. Probably no coincidence that last night I rewarded myself with an evening of nostalgic Tom Hanks classics – Turner & Hooch followed by Sleepless in Seattle. Ultimate feel – good movies. Can’t beat ’em. Then, asleep at 10.45 and up at 6. A good night’s sleep can work miracles.

Anyhow, enough rambling for now. Keen to get on with the day. Yeah!


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