Sat July 13th 2013

Vector Floral Ornaments (2)9.20 a.m.

What goes on, in your mind / I feel that I am upside down / What goes on, in your mind /  I feel that I am falling down / Lady be good / Do what you should / You know it’ll be alright

Have that song in my head this morning. Despite a very long sleep, I’m feeling very groggy this morning – perhaps a sign that I’m in shutdown mode. I’m anxious – really just want to get things sorted and out of the way and getting annoyed about it shouldn’t be on the agenda. Must relax. I’ve been awake for ten minutes and I can already feel myself getting wound up because there’s this thing circling in my head and Billy doesn’t seem to care about it. It’s like a backwards step – I’m stressed out, and feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it because it’s stressful, so I’m stuck not being able to say what’s on my mind and I want to cancel this pattern of thought but is that healthy? Am I just running away? Isn’t getting it out of your system and clearing the air the best thing to do? I don’t know, it’s tough to know what the right approach is sometimes. It’s of my own making. I am lucky enough to have lots of people who would be happy to listen. I’m the one getting in the way of my own healing.

Looks like  a beautiful morning. I kind of just want to sleep for a few days, though. Sleepy sleepy sleepy. Funny how it takes a few days for you to switch off completely. My handwriting changed completely as I wrote that. Bizarre.

So many melodramatic thoughts going around in my head this morning. CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL! What happened to relaxing? Come on. Perhaps the solution is to simply go back to sleep.

Go back to sleep.. Go back to sleep.

I haven’t listened to The Thirteenth Step for ages. That’s criminal considering it’s one of absolute favourites. Incredible album. I’ll remedy that today.  Now that is something to look forward to!

Breakfast always helps. I’m going for that approach before crawling back into bed in cowardly fashion.


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