Every day I wake up and immediately write a couple of pages and do my absolute best to allow myself to write freely. It’s not always easy. I get stuck, unable to write anything, really. I just end up writing the same thing over and over sometimes. About how I can’t seem to think of anything to write. When I started doing this, I realised its value very quickly; if you can’t even let yourself write freely, for yourself, first thing in the morning when you’re really too groggy to think, how can you express yourself freely when you have the outside world to consider, the judgement, the desire to please, to be liked, to be loved? The first step for me was to keep writing every morning, just keep doing it, and slowly start to experience those occasionally fleeting seconds of freedom when you don’t know what you’re writing, you’re just writing. And it’s you. And it’s on paper. And that’s cool.
These are not meant to say anything, really. They are just the waking thoughts of a Very Ordinary Person, writing down whatever is in their head at the start of the day. It’s a way of getting all the confused crap out of the waking mind and onto the page, in the hope that somehow it will clear it and make it slightly more able to deal with the day ahead. Above everything, and this is the aim of this entire site…It is HONEST. It’s me. A very Ordinary Human Being’s thoughts first thing every day. It may be interesting to read, it may not, but it’s the truth. And that’s what I think is valuable about this stuff and for whatever reason (I haven’t worked it out yet), I wanted to share them. Quietly I hope they are interesting. Very quietly.
Thanks for reading.
An Ordinary Idealist.
N.B These are originally handwritten and barely legible and I go through the process of typing them up and posting them here, so occasionally I have to fill in the gaps and infer what I have written. I am left handed, and have terrible handwriting anyway, so you can imagine the illegible scrawl that I produce on waking. I’m confident that no false “sense” is introduced to these through the process of being typed up. The notes published here run from January 2013 through to July 31st 2013, and can be found under either the “Stream Of Consciousness” or “Morning Notes” categories on the left 🙂