Part of my journey to unlock my creativity has revolved around the process of working through the voice of my Inner Critic, which seems to have such power over every one of my actions that I struggle to feel that I have any control over what I do, or produce, or even think. How much of who I believe myself to be, I wonder, is governed by this callous voice in my head, that casts unimaginably harsh judgements on all that I think, before I have even allowed anything in my head to manifest itself in the material world? What could I create, if I were able to find some kind of balance between my Inner Critic and the creative energy that I feel lives within me but is imprisoned by the voices of my own judgement? If I could just be free?
One of the tools that I have adopted to help me to find a more healthy equilibrium with my Inner Critic, has been to allow myself to write in a “free” style, with no concern for the quality, structure or outcome of what ends up on the page. It’s not that I’m able to simply ignore that negative voice in my head and believe that everything I do is wonderful during this process (I’m not convinced that that is a particularly healthy approach either, although I imagine it’s great fun living that way), but I am trying to work through the imbalance that I have between the Inner Voices which are kind, and nurturing, and those which are critical, and more judgemental. My way of doing this, is to simply write, and write, and write, and let whatever is going to come out, come out, in it’s rawest, truest form. If I want to edit, refine and tweak, that is a different process altogether, and for now, being able to write freely is challenge enough.
In this section is a range of such “Stream of Consciousness” writing; the work here is free, truthful, and often rather chaotic, but it’s Me, and it’s honest. That’s all I’m going for on this blog, really, and I hope it makes for interesting, entertaining, or downright bizarre reading.. It may not, but I live in hope.
Thanks for reading!
An Ordinary Idealist